December 5th– End of November results.
Monthly goal $15.000, end result: - $3.410
The month of November has finally come to an end. It has been a bleak mark on my poker carreer. The continued bad fortune, that started at the end of October and now follow me into December have taken their toll. I play worse, I blog less and offcourse it affects my life away from poker aswell.
I wish I could find comfort in the saying: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but I honestly don't see any good coming from this experience.
Here are my pokertracker stats for November: (Note that not all levels are shown, which accounts for the missing hands. Tourney wins, rakeback and bonuses are not included, which accounts for the missing profit)
After bonuses, rakeback and tourney wins my losses total $3.410. The amount has little effect on my bankroll or my spirits. The reason I am so distressed is because I honestly believe that I should have been up $10.000 or so this month, if fortune had been fair. If I had had the same amount of luck as I have had unluck I am sure my profits this month could have exceded $30.000.
I havn't been unlucky each day this month. Some days I just play poorly and others I manage to secure a small win. But more than half of my daily sessions have featured several all-ins lost to suckouts or cold decks.
As I have already mentioned my mood has suffered. These last two weeks have featured very little poker and even less blogging. I usually play some poker, loose some money and then take a break for a day or two. After a while I give it another try and either book a small win, or loose alot again and take another break. I guess I will continue to do this until I manage to turn my luck around.
Poker is dreadfull when your loosing and I don't want to wake up every morning and ruin my day with a dreadfull session, so I find the time to take breaks and do something fun with friends and family. And when I do take a session and it turns into a nightmare, I don't feel like writing about it afterwards.
All players think they are unlucky. Therefore I am very suspicious of the possibility that I am playing a loosing game, without realizing it. Perhaps I am not good enough to play the $5/$10 tables, or perhaps I tilt too much of my profits away after a bad beat or two.
Luckily I have pokertracker and it doesn't lie. Each time I review my sessions I try to look for leaks and bad plays, but the majority of the time I only find random unluck as the sole reason for my continued loss. Therefore I'll keep playing the limits I do and trust that fortune will even itself out in time.Thanks for reading. I hope to start updating on a daily basis again, but as so much else it depends on the cards.
4 comments:
Hi Johan !
Don't dispair. Shit happens.
Don't forget that life is one big long game of poker, and short term results are not a reflection on your ability.
Cheers.
P.S.
Maybe you should give TX NL a break for a month and just concentrate on the PLO ?
It helps me when I go stale playing one game all the time.
I come in here daily - but for no reason...
How are you doing - personally and in bridge?
Can we expect blogging to start again soon?
I havn't played much this month, so there hasn't been much to blog about.
I hope and expect to get a renewed interest in poker at some point. In the past this has happend consistantly after a prolonged break.
I also hope that my interest in blogging will return at that point.
I myself like to read blogs and I check in on quite a couple of them daily. I have noticed that many have stopped updating. Mostly due to a bad runs.
Personally I can say it feels like a chore at times and on bad runs it becomes extremely demanding.
When blogging starts to demand more than it gives, my only option is to give it a rest.
All this writing makes me want to make another entry.
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